The puzzling questions/views on Trust & Friendship that I keep on asking myself is kinda never ending. To be honest more often than not these views are pushed by instances that left me with a bitter taste or undesired consequences…
The difference between a ‘friendly friend’ and a ‘real friend’ is more clear in my mind than ever before now. The understanding that the manner in which friendship is perceived today is very different than what I had in mind. Today being Friendly is Friendship.
It took a while, but I finally made a choice. That choice was acceptance.
Acceptance that I cannot control everything, I cannot be friends with people as I want, I cannot expect everyone to behave the way I like – rather I need not require everyone to be Friends, at times Friendly is enough.
This changed somewhere mid way, so did this. Dunno where I am today, but I shall be back! Updated here.
Happy realization!
dislike
Well you should perhaps check the discussion on this over the facebook notes. Perhaps that will help dislike in a more educated manner.
Thanks Annkur for philosophizing.
Don’t try to pigeonhole people into real friends or friendly friends. You’ll be surprised who ends up having your back when it really matters.
People change. Circumstances change. Your friendly friends may become the best of buddies tomorrow too. But that’ll never happen if you *don’t expect* them to cross the merely friendly barrier.
So don’t pigeonhole people. And don’t change your actions towards folks based on who you consider are your real friends or friendly friends.
Like that angle Ankesh. A different perspective. I have had this learning and thats what prompted this article. If I reflect your comment on my past actions, guess I might have made some mistakes awell.
But do read Ideasmith’s comment on FB. It makes a point aswell. I do give up on people who aren’t worth it, but if I see that it can be fixed – you know that I would fix it. I can’t quote any example here but you know whats coming on 8th May.
Thanks
I rather like Ankesh’s point. People change, times change, relationships do. You can never be absolutely certain at any point of time. People have a wonderful (or terrible) way of surprising you. That’s life and it’s not such a bad thing.
My name is Ankur Jain- I always believe in quality vs. quantity when it comes to friends. Focus on the ‘real friends’ — I’m not like Larry David from Seinfield/Curb Your Enthusiam who ‘goes down with the ship.’
I agree with Ankesh though, sometimes even quality friends need to be cut sometimes. You can’t have people bring you down if you have aspirations to do things differently or if it isn’t a balanced relationship. Just be civil and friendly if you see them again.
-Ankur Jain